Nathan R. Stenberg
Nathan R. Stenberg is a first-generation disabled college graduate from a low-income, single-parent family in rural Minnesota. Nathan works as an artist, consultant, certified personal trainer, public speaker, and scholar-activist. He is interested in how the stories we tell about disabled people influence everything from depictions of disability in popular entertainment to policy decisions for the disability community in the United States. A current Leadership in Equity, Inclusion, and Diversity Fellow at the University of Minnesota, Nathan has received numerous fellowships including the Erickson Graduate Fellowship in Law and History, the William F. Stout Fellowship, and the Diversity of Views & Experiences Fellowship. Dedicated to advocating for the disability community, Nathan serves on the Board of Directors of the Pennhurst Memorial & Preservation Alliance. Nathan received his BA in Music from Roberts Wesleyan College in 2014, and his MDiv from Princeton Seminary in 2017. Nathan currently lives in Washington, DC.
Interview Transcription:
SPEAKERS
Molly Joyce, Nathan R. Stenberg
Molly Joyce 00:00
So the first question is, what is resilience for you?
Nathan R. Stenberg 00:27
I have to chuckle this because one of my former profs at Princeton did work on resilience in trauma. And so I'm like, trying not to give the heady answer that's a really hard question. That's a, that's a deep question right off the bat. Gotta warn me here in the morning. Let's see here. I think resilience is a mindset, that one's failures, shortcomings, traumas, whatever the word is, defines setback for whatever that means the person does not define one's life and the ability to recognize that and to just keep moving forward in whatever way that is that person.
Molly Joyce 01:34
Okay, next question is what is isolation for you?
Nathan R. Stenberg 01:51
For me, I go back very vividly to the hospital room. My first experience of isolation was in the hospital. And oddly enough, isolation occurred when I was surrounded by people. And it was when people would come to visit. And you know, I like fresh off a surgery of the line, they're kind of like a human jello mold. And my friends would come over and be like, hey, great to see you. And we're gonna go to Fuddruckers now, because we went from rural Minnesota, to the cities to come see you. So we saw you, and we're gonna say hi, where we're clearly uncomfortable. We don't like being as hospital space. So we're just gonna go to Fudrukkers now. Because it's in the cities and and get this, you know, wonderful hamburger. And then you make, right, like isolation is knowing that people are willing to go to you, but not be with you. Right. And then the other form of isolation, I think, came after the death of my parents. And the death of my immediate family. And that's isolation, which I currently live with is that existential fear that as an only child is all of my immediate family are dead after COVID like, I mean, and knowing that one little mistake in my life, while likely would not actually lead to my complete, you know, dismay and unraveling of all that I've worked so hard for but it's that constant fear of residing in the back of my mind one wrong moves. And since I'm it, that's it for me.
Molly Joyce 03:54
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I love that people go to you but don't aren't with you. That notion. Next question, what is darkness for you?
Nathan R. Stenberg 04:15
Fear of sounding like such a musician, is the absence of sound. The absence of all sound and again, I think of another two spectrums that I think are like in the hospital, like coming out of surgery, and just being unable to feel my vibes be able to not hear anything to be cognizant, but to not have any sense of what is going on in my life. Or what I'm doing, working alive or from dead on the flip end. You know, again, like in the wake of all my immediate family being dead and you know it's witnessing life's kind of like slow fade to black. And just knowing I have no idea what's after this ends sitting in that in solitude and isolation. Go back to your earlier question.
Molly Joyce 05:28
And last question, what is connection for you?
Nathan R. Stenberg 06:00
Sorry, I'm really struggling with this question honestly, at this point in my life, I don't know because I don't really feel like I have a lot of it. I think honestly, coming out of the pandemic, I feel so disconnected with so many things. I feel disconnected to myself. I mean, if music still brought me the same feeling that it did, when I first started, I'd probably say music. Because music is the one thing that allows me to feel my entire body in a way that I cannot typically, but because of my experiences in my life, music no longer does that. And so that within itself is this great experience of connectedness that is just one moment of just connected this. And even in my friendships, like there are certainly people in my life that I feel connected to, and I would say in those instances, it's this feeling of presence. And non-transactional presence, it's truly present. But I mean, even there, I feel like I'm in such a place of flux. Even with the very relationships in my life, there's so little and I'm like walking postmodernism. Everything in my life is like relative and totally in flux. And I yeah, I guess I think I'm struggling to to answer that question. Because I don't really know if I feel connected to much of anything right now. It's incredibly dark, especially for a last question, but that's what I'm gonna leave you with.